Ring My Bell

Ever have one of those days when myriad tasks are shouting out your name? Projects inside and outside, laundry to do, weeds to pull, plants to water, errands to run. You can't seem to properly prioritize so you do the most reasonable thing that comes to mind. Get out a jigsaw puzzle! Then I had such a revelation! I must have a counter bell! Then, every time I correctly place a piece in the puzzle I ring the bell! How annoying would that be! Lacking a counter bell, I have now been saying ding! at the appropriate time of placement. I make sure and say ding! extra loud when Reid is within earshot. He groans. I cackle. This is much more fun than it ought to be. It's the little things. 

Flying the Smug Flag

This is what I do. I make dirt. Bow down before me and tremble. No, no, I was kidding. No need to grovel. And to tell the truth, I don't actually do it. Nope. The right balance of bacteria and what they like to eat, say, kitchen scraps and yard waste, is what's doing the work. Proper mixing and moisture and aeration and time equals dirt. To amend my flower beds and fill holes in the yard. After a hiatus of three seasons while my compost bins were buried under a heap of tree branches, I got it cleared off this spring and going again. So I'm feeling just a bit smug over not sending my compostables to the landfill. Where these items do not, I repeat, do not decompose. Which I know flies in the face of popular belief, but there it is. I heard recently about a twenty year old avocado found in a landfill that, once the grayish outermost layer was scraped off, almost looked good enough for guacamole. Let's make dirt instead. Your veggie scraps, coffee grounds and egg shells want to be dirt. Let's make them happy.

Pity This Man

He's promiscuous in the numbers sense of the word, but without the lack-of-morals overtone. The thing is, he's so lousy in bed that he needs to find a new partner every time.  Maybe all he needs is that one special one that has really low expectations. Or someone with no experience. And a poor imagination. Let's face it, the best solution with the fewest number of people either victimized or disappointed would be outfitting him with a chastity belt. 

Minimal to the Max

Whoever said size isn't important didn't know what they were talking about. And no, this isn't going where you might think it's going. My hair, for instance, gets big without encouragement. I do not require a voluminizing product. Though at least a half dozen beauticians have really wanted to sell me such a thing. I tell them, I don't need a voluminizer, I need a whip and a chair. They use one on me anyway and I can't see where it makes any difference, except to make my hair feel stiff and crunchy near the roots. Then there's the minimizer bra. Reduces your bust by one full cup size! Wouldn't that be a pint? A bra that makes your bust smaller is not something I require, either. I prefer a bra that imparts a certain uplift, one that puts the girls right back where they were when I was nineteen. I do realize that there women out there who are the diametric opposite of me in these two regards. And I feel their pain. Because size does matter. Especially when we are born with traits that we would prefer had manifested themselves a little more in the other direction. So I'll take the anti-frizz, curl relaxing hair products and the push-up bra, thank you. Which leaves more of the voluminizers and minimizers for the rest of you. 

Born to Love Shoes

Cait

I was also born with funky feet. Flat as can be and bunions developed by the time I went to school. All that running barefoot probably didn't help things. Throw in narrow heels and I am what you would call a difficult fit as far as shoes are concerned. My feet might look a little odd, but they are highly functional and feel great, so I really can't complain. So when I find the perfect flat black sandal, already on sale, that I can apply a 20% off coupon toward the purchase of, I am downright ecstatic! I discovered a few years ago that Born footwear fits me as well as being sturdily constructed. Whenever I can find me some Borns at a reasonable price I snatch them up.

Nigella

As for that rummage sale profit that was screaming boots at me, who can resist a gorgeous, sexy, comfy pair of Born boots at approximately 60% off! I can't. Of all places, I ran across these at our local fleet farm store. Love the color, they have named it Cognac. Which reminds me of drinking beer from a boot. But that is an entirely different story altogether.

Ya, Sure

It is Norwegian Independence Day today. As my mother used to say, the day we wear yellow. I'm still not sure what that meant. Being half Norwegian myself, I offer this supremely bad joke I heard as a child. Today is the day that Sven and Ole throw firecrackers across the border at the Swedes. Then the Swedes light them and throw them back. Please do not be offended. If you are offended, please attempt to locate your missing sense of humor. 

So Far This Week...

1. After the shot of Patron and an Irish car bomb Monday night, I had the good sense to leave my car in the parking lot and accept a ride home. 


2. Waking up and feeling wonderful at just past 6 am yesterday, I noted what a lovely day was taking shape outside. I pulled on sweats and tennis shoes and bumped into Reid in the kitchen. I asked him if he was up for a walk. We set out on the two mile trek to fetch my car.


3. Approximately halfway to the car, I thought it would be really funny if I hadn't remembered to grab my car key. That's just the sort of dopey thing I do. I had the key. Which was much funnier than not having it.


4. Amelia trimmed up my hair on Monday afternoon. She is magic. 


5. Plans are shaping up for the sister trip to Kansas City. We. Are. Excited!


6. Misplaced my camera for the second time this week. The first time I eventually located it in the pocket of my jean jacket. About an hour ago I remembered that I had left it outside on the table near the hammock. Fortunately it didn't rain. And I had put it in its case. I had to sponge off the pine sticky stuff that had dripped on the case from the tree overhead. Very happy that I put it in its case.


7. Totally negated any healthy effects from the 2 mile walk by going through the McDonald's drive-up for a breakfast sandwich.


8. Reid is now a licensed driver. He successfully accomplished taking the test this afternoon.


9. To celebrate item #8, brownies and ice cream seemed in order.


10. I don't know what the rest of you would do with rummage sale proceeds burning a hole in your pocket, but this girl bought boots. If I don't misplace my camera again, pics tomorrow of the new ultimate flat black sandals and new boots.